Why Do Toddlers Struggle With Sharing? Expert Tips For Parents

Sharing is one of the most common challenges parents face during the toddler years. Whether it’s a favourite toy or a snack. It may even just be getting attention from an adult, many toddlers find sharing difficult. While this can sometimes feel worrying, it’s actually a completely normal part of early childhood development.

This blog dives into how to better understand why toddlers struggle with sharing and how as parents you can best support them. We’ll be looking at ways how we can help our children build empathy, confidence and strong social skills that benefit them in the long-term.

Why Toddlers Find Sharing Difficult

Toddlers are learning independence for the first time. Between 18 months and three years, children begin to understand ownership and control. Words like “mine” become common because toddlers are developing a sense of self and learning they are separate from others.

At the same time, emotional regulation is still developing. Sharing requires toddlers to wait and manage their frustration, all while trying to understand another child’s needs, but all these skills take time to learn. It’s not that toddlers don’t want to share, it’s that their brains are still developing the ability to do so.

Another important factor is perspective-taking. Toddlers are only just beginning to understand that other people have thoughts and feelings different from their own. This skill forms the foundation of empathy and develops gradually through supported social experiences.

“Encouraging sharing gently helps toddlers build empathy and social confidence. It’s about guiding them to understand others and feel secure taking turns and sharing, while also recognising both their own autonomy and that of those around them.” Eleanor Richfield, Head of Education at Fennies said,

Sharing vs Turn-Taking: An Important First Step

For many toddlers, turn-taking is easier than sharing and can be a great starting block to build upon. True sharing by playing together collaboratively, often develops later on in their growth. Turn-taking helps children understand fairness without feeling like they’re losing something.

For example: “You’re using the car now. When you’re finished, it will be Ella’s turn.”

This approach helps toddlers:

• Feel secure they’ll get the toy back
• Learn patience gradually
• Understand fairness
• Recognise other children’s needs

Over time, turn-taking naturally develops into sharing and helps bridge that gap with a smooth transition.

Practical Tips To Help Toddlers Learn Sharing

1. Model Sharing At Home

Children learn by watching adults. Demonstrating sharing in everyday situations helps toddlers understand what it looks like.

Try saying, “Would you like to share my apple with me?” or “You can have a turn, then it’s my turn.”

This helps children see sharing as a positive experience and provides a rewarding feeling.

2. Praise Attempts To Share

Recognising that they are making an effort to share helps reinforce this behaviour. Even the smallest of steps make a difference. 

For example, “You gave your friend a turn, that was kind!” or “You shared your toys. Your friend looks happy.”

This builds confidence and encourages repetition.

3. Use Short Turn-Taking Games

Simple games help toddlers practice sharing in a low-pressure way:

• Rolling a ball
• Building a tower together
• Taking turns with musical instruments
• Completing puzzles together

Short turns work best initially, and then over time you can gradually increase the waiting time to help develop patience.

4. Narrate Emotions During Disagreements

When sharing conflicts happen, narrating emotions helps children understand feelings. “I can see you're upset because you want the toy. It’s hard to wait. You can have a turn next.”

This validates emotions while teaching patience and empathy.

5. Avoid Forcing Sharing

Forcing a toddler to give up a toy can create anxiety. Instead, acknowledge ownership while encouraging fairness. “You’re still playing with that. When you’re finished, it will be someone else’s turn.”

This helps children feel secure while learning social expectations.

How Sharing Skills Develop Over Time

Sharing develops gradually. Toddlers often begin with:

• Playing alongside others (parallel play)
• Observing other children
• Practicing short turns
• Imitating adult behaviour
• Collaborating in small activities

With consistent support, children begin to understand fairness, cooperation and empathy.

These skills support:

• Friendships
• Communication
• Emotional Regulation
• School Readiness
• Confidence in Group Settings

Supporting Social Development At Nursery

In Early Years environments, sharing is taught through guided play and small group activities, while encouraging supportive interactions throughout. Educators help children take turns when playing and express their emotions.

Children are encouraged to:

• Take turns during activities
• Use language to express needs
• Recognise others’ feelings
• Solve small conflicts
• Build early friendships

Fennies supports children in learning social skills at their own pace, fostering confidence and understanding through nurturing environments and play-based learning.

Every child develops differently, and sharing is a skill that grows over time. With gentle guidance, toddlers naturally develop empathy and positive social behaviours.